


Shinji’s lucky day

by 47_Chromosomes



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Anal Sex, Ass job, Blow Jobs, Creampie, F/M, Face Sitting, Facial, Fucking, I lied about the tags, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 05:39:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14730984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/47_Chromosomes/pseuds/47_Chromosomes
Summary: Shinji and Misato are having some “private time”. But Asuka and Rei show up and things turn out all right.





	Shinji’s lucky day

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy

One day, Misato was fucking the ever living fuck outta Shinji’s 3 billion light year long cock. “*Inaudible whining noises.*” Was all Shinji could say. “Come on Shinji kun, it’s either this or getting in the Eva.” This only caused Shinji to start crying like an anime fan on prom night. 

Then Asuka kicked down the door dressed up like a Waffen SS officer. “Heil Hitler! And what the fuck are you bakas doing?” The fucking stopped and Misato asked “Why the fuck are you dressed like that?” 

“I’m German remember? And all Germans are Nazis you fucking bakas! Now answer my fucking question you degenerate bakas!” Asuka screamed. “I was simply riding Shinji Kun’s 3 billion light year long cock. And no it’s not pedophilia cause I’m a woman.” Misato (who is best girl you fucking weebs) explained to the little red headed Nazi. “Baka! I’ll kill you!”

“Hello, I exist remember?” Said Rei who was watching this the whole time. This made Misato sooooo ANGERY that she took Shinji’s cock, pointed it at Asuka and shot a huge load of cum all over her. The cum blast was so hard that it put her into a comatose state. And Shinji masturbated to it. After cumming in his hand he looked at it and said, “I’m so fucked up.” That was when Asuka woke up and smacked him in the face knocking him to the floor. “Pathetic.”

She cleaned the cum off her SS uniform and began to beat the shit outta Rei because she is a SHIT waifu! Rei remained unmoved by this and simply stated, “Please do not beat the shit outta me.” Was all Rei. Misato was still fucking Shinji, against his will of course. “Misato San, this is gay because you like dick and that’s gay.” 

Asuka being a legit Nazi, heard the word gay and attempted to kill Misato for being gay. “Auf wiedersehen.” She said as she pulled out her gun, but Rei saved the day with her multiple clones. “AAAAHHHGG! Scheiße! Sie ist Kommunistin! BAKA!” Asuka yelled out as the multiple Reis beat the fuck outta her. “No, we’re not Communists, we’re just clones.” 

“Was zum Teufel geht hier vor? BAKA!” That’s German for what the fuck is going on? “Asuka, stop speaking Hitler and speak Naruto like a normal fucking anime character you bitch.” Misato said. “But we’re speaking English, this is a god damn fanfiction created by some faggot who only speaks English! I’m allowed to speak my native language! Also beschäftige dich mit schwulem Degeneration! BAKA!” Asuka pulled out her MP-40 and yelled out “Schutzstaffel!” Until She was shot in the head by a stray bullet and fell to the ground screaming “MEIN LEBEN!” It was Rei who shot her. “Jesus fucking Christ, this is just getting retarded.” Rei said, “I know BAKA!” Screamed Asuka’s corpse. Misato was still raping Shinji, but she’s a woman so it’s okay. 

This caused Shinji to go into one of those weird therapy things that happen sometimes in the series. He imagined himself taking a Bible lesson and his dad was there teaching it. “Fuck you dad! Your gay!” He screamed at the top of his lungs. “No u.” That was when the Bible grew arms and legs and proceeded to beat the shit outta Shinji and his dad. This caused them to become so enlightened that they became smarter than all Rick and Morty fans in the world. Shinji woke up from this to still have Misato fucking him and Rei arguing with Asuka’s corpse on who best Evangelion waifu is. (It’s Misato.)

His head grew like Sheen in that one episode of Jimmy Neutron and became too smart for these thots. He used his new god like powers to destroy all the thots. That’s when Jotaro form JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure cane in and said. “All women are thots.” He then disappeared into nothingness. The sight of a JoJo reference only made Shinji’s IQ grow higher. He began to fly because of his immense brain power and killed all the Angles and all the Eva’s and all the Rick and Morty fans for their inferior IQ. 

All was going well until he came across someone who watched Jimmy Neutron. The only thing to rival one who watches Evangelion. They communicated telepathically and agreed to exterminate all thots. That is until they came across ME! I watch little Einstein’s so therefore my IQ is so high, I can create universes. “RESPECT WOMEN!” I told them telepathically and this caused their heads to explode.

And that was the original ending to Neon Genesis Evangelion.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not fucking sorry


End file.
